Finally someone else gets it, I basically have the same sort of relationship with femininity and gender
I’m non-binary gender fluid (and it sounds like you might be too) and honestly it can be really tough sometimes just having an overwhelmingly looming but mild and ignorable sense that something about you is off, but not really knowing what
And I’ve tried wearing girl clothes and going by she/her, but honestly it’s so hit or miss, sometimes my dresses make me dysphoric and I hate it, I hate having no clue what I am sometimes
And I’m very much of the same opinion that I wish I could just fully turn into a girl temporarily just to see if I like it, just to try it, but I know I can’t, and I really really cannot bring myself to do anything more permanent than wear a skirt or makeup, not even shave my legs. as much as I want to be a girl, I don’t want to not still also be a boy, sometimes I’m happiest when I’m neither, and sometimes I love being both
Gender is very weird, I’m just glad I’m gonna finally stop hiding myself soon
I don’t really have any advice that I could think of, but hopefully seeing someone else with the same feelings helps u not feel alone
Yeah the feelings are really complex. And I’ve really only been exploring the idea of changing the way I identify for about 2 weeks so I’m very much still taking my time to think about my feelings more fully.
In my case I feel like I would switch to a girl body in a hearbeat because then I could be comfortable dressing masc / tomboyish and sometimes a little fem, but I have complex feelings towards everything in between afab tomboy and being amab. Since transitioning is so much more complex than waving a wand and involves going through different stages with lots of different effects that may or may not manifest, I feel like the risk of ending up somewhere where I’m even less happy is too great. Not to mention I’m so undecided about a lot of the potential effects of things like hrt.
There are other things that I’m more sure about, like if there was just a “hips and shoulders and muscles and fat distribution” hormone that didn’t do anything else I would take it in a heartbeat. And I’m planning on lasering some of my body hair, chest at least. But being just 2 weeks into an identity crisis and I feel like the most helpful thing I could do is spend more time thinking and maybe try out different bodies in VRChat to see how I feel wearing them.
And yeah I’ve been thinking maybe I’m just some form of NB, and I’ve never been more unsure what to put in pronoun fields lol.
Thanks for sharing though it’s nice to know other people experiencing difficult feelings like this.
Finally someone else gets it, I basically have the same sort of relationship with femininity and gender
I’m non-binary gender fluid (and it sounds like you might be too) and honestly it can be really tough sometimes just having an overwhelmingly looming but mild and ignorable sense that something about you is off, but not really knowing what
And I’ve tried wearing girl clothes and going by she/her, but honestly it’s so hit or miss, sometimes my dresses make me dysphoric and I hate it, I hate having no clue what I am sometimes
And I’m very much of the same opinion that I wish I could just fully turn into a girl temporarily just to see if I like it, just to try it, but I know I can’t, and I really really cannot bring myself to do anything more permanent than wear a skirt or makeup, not even shave my legs. as much as I want to be a girl, I don’t want to not still also be a boy, sometimes I’m happiest when I’m neither, and sometimes I love being both
Gender is very weird, I’m just glad I’m gonna finally stop hiding myself soon
I don’t really have any advice that I could think of, but hopefully seeing someone else with the same feelings helps u not feel alone
Yeah the feelings are really complex. And I’ve really only been exploring the idea of changing the way I identify for about 2 weeks so I’m very much still taking my time to think about my feelings more fully.
In my case I feel like I would switch to a girl body in a hearbeat because then I could be comfortable dressing masc / tomboyish and sometimes a little fem, but I have complex feelings towards everything in between afab tomboy and being amab. Since transitioning is so much more complex than waving a wand and involves going through different stages with lots of different effects that may or may not manifest, I feel like the risk of ending up somewhere where I’m even less happy is too great. Not to mention I’m so undecided about a lot of the potential effects of things like hrt.
There are other things that I’m more sure about, like if there was just a “hips and shoulders and muscles and fat distribution” hormone that didn’t do anything else I would take it in a heartbeat. And I’m planning on lasering some of my body hair, chest at least. But being just 2 weeks into an identity crisis and I feel like the most helpful thing I could do is spend more time thinking and maybe try out different bodies in VRChat to see how I feel wearing them.
And yeah I’ve been thinking maybe I’m just some form of NB, and I’ve never been more unsure what to put in pronoun fields lol.
Thanks for sharing though it’s nice to know other people experiencing difficult feelings like this.
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