Thank you ❤️ it’s been tough not being overwhelmed by little things lately so I really appreciate it
- 0 Posts
- 7 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: December 14th, 2023
You are not logged in. If you use a Fediverse account that is able to follow users, you can follow this user.
Thank you it’s ok. Rest assured the people in my life are doing plenty to encourage me to try different things and it started to feel like this thread was turning into piling onto retreading those same conversations when I didn’t intend on opening that can of worms.
I appreciate it’s well intentioned though ❤️
Yeah I just didn’t intend to attract a bunch of well meaning but ultimately repetitive affirmations, advice, and arguments about what I should do or try from people who don’t know my situation and I’m kind of tired of fending that off and explaining myself again and again.
Tbh I’m getting tired of being told to try things. I’ve been pushed into trying things since long before I started seriously questioning my own identity because everyone else around me has been questioning my identity for much longer, and I already know what doesn’t work for me.
Yeah the feelings are really complex. And I’ve really only been exploring the idea of changing the way I identify for about 2 weeks so I’m very much still taking my time to think about my feelings more fully.
In my case I feel like I would switch to a girl body in a hearbeat because then I could be comfortable dressing masc / tomboyish and sometimes a little fem, but I have complex feelings towards everything in between afab tomboy and being amab. Since transitioning is so much more complex than waving a wand and involves going through different stages with lots of different effects that may or may not manifest, I feel like the risk of ending up somewhere where I’m even less happy is too great. Not to mention I’m so undecided about a lot of the potential effects of things like hrt.
There are other things that I’m more sure about, like if there was just a “hips and shoulders and muscles and fat distribution” hormone that didn’t do anything else I would take it in a heartbeat. And I’m planning on lasering some of my body hair, chest at least. But being just 2 weeks into an identity crisis and I feel like the most helpful thing I could do is spend more time thinking and maybe try out different bodies in VRChat to see how I feel wearing them.
And yeah I’ve been thinking maybe I’m just some form of NB, and I’ve never been more unsure what to put in pronoun fields lol.
Thanks for sharing though it’s nice to know other people experiencing difficult feelings like this.
UwU