Honestly, if I were you, knee jerk advice is to break it off.
Like I said, I’ve been in the same situation before, more than once… best case scenario is essentially:
You somehow get back together, but you will not be able to fully trust them and will always feel inadequate.
Not a good set up.
Doesn’t have to be messy, dramatic, … hell, you could just ghost him back.
But yeah, I’d say the sooner you try to accept that this isn’t likely to work out, you’re hurt, he doesn’t seem to care… sooner you get to processing that, the better.
However, I don’t actually know all the details, there potentially could be some important missing context.
I am assuming that you two have been like, a monogamous couple for something like 3-6 months + … maybe no, maybe its a significantly different situation?
Maybe think it over for a day or two?
Try to get to the point where its not the predominant thing in your mind, or to the point its not in the back of your mind?
Always helpful to try to have a clear head, step back from the situation as much as you can.
Ok, so I figured it out. This guy is going to be in the military. So Will gets attached easily to people besides me and he doesn’t wanna miss time on him
Me and Aiko have been dating for 4 years, engaged for 11 months. Will, my boyfriend, and I have been dating for about 4 months. I have figured it out and the more I think about it (or don’t!) the more I lose feelings for him because all he talks about is his boyfriend, but then he’s flirty or romantic with me and is very touchy and kissy so then I wanna go back to him and I just melt.
He doesn’t wanna hang out with me, even saying he doesn’t really feel like it, but then he will if he feels it’s mandatory, like in therapy where you have to pay a fee if you don’t show up without calling in. And yeah, he left me on read again so he definitely found his phone and just ghosted me.
Honestly, if I were you, knee jerk advice is to break it off.
Like I said, I’ve been in the same situation before, more than once… best case scenario is essentially:
You somehow get back together, but you will not be able to fully trust them and will always feel inadequate.
Not a good set up.
Doesn’t have to be messy, dramatic, … hell, you could just ghost him back.
But yeah, I’d say the sooner you try to accept that this isn’t likely to work out, you’re hurt, he doesn’t seem to care… sooner you get to processing that, the better.
However, I don’t actually know all the details, there potentially could be some important missing context.
I am assuming that you two have been like, a monogamous couple for something like 3-6 months + … maybe no, maybe its a significantly different situation?
Maybe think it over for a day or two?
Try to get to the point where its not the predominant thing in your mind, or to the point its not in the back of your mind?
Always helpful to try to have a clear head, step back from the situation as much as you can.
Ok, so I figured it out. This guy is going to be in the military. So Will gets attached easily to people besides me and he doesn’t wanna miss time on him
Me and Aiko have been dating for 4 years, engaged for 11 months. Will, my boyfriend, and I have been dating for about 4 months. I have figured it out and the more I think about it (or don’t!) the more I lose feelings for him because all he talks about is his boyfriend, but then he’s flirty or romantic with me and is very touchy and kissy so then I wanna go back to him and I just melt.
He doesn’t wanna hang out with me, even saying he doesn’t really feel like it, but then he will if he feels it’s mandatory, like in therapy where you have to pay a fee if you don’t show up without calling in. And yeah, he left me on read again so he definitely found his phone and just ghosted me.
Wait ok what.
So you are… engaged to Aiko… and also have been dating Will for 4 months?
And you’ve made 2 other comments as well.
So… I’m confused…
Are you… dating or otherwise partnered with two people at the same time?
Am I understanding this right?
???
Polyamory
Can you draw a diagram for me?
I’m serious, I’m not trying to be an ass, I am confused as to… who knows who, and how, and what…
You know, I’m probably not the right person to ask for advice on this, I have very little experience with … ongoing polyamory situations.
…Do we have some kind of an ‘Ask Alice’ type lemmy comm?
I feel like that has to already exist, somewhere on lemmy or piefed or somewhere.
Oh no, it’s basically like I’m dating Aiko (engaged) and I’m dating Will, and they know of each other, but they’re not dating, they’re just dating me.
Ok, he’s being nice to me now again UGHHHH NOW I FEEL BAD!