Pic somewhat related I remember when I, a Cisgender Man™, would proudly tell my friends that one year I was going to do a Madoka cosplay for comic con, because I am, and I do quote, “secure in my masculinity”. “I won’t wear a wig, I’ll actually grow my hair and dye it bright pink and gel it to fit the cosplay,” I proclaimed with all the testosterone I could. “It’ll be funny because Madoka is a small girl and I am a large man,” I said, with not so much as a drop of irony or knowing in my words.
This is such a frustrating property of toxic masculinity (I know this is a copypasta but that’s a sentiment that’s expressed by A LOT of men). The idea that gender and sexuality are these weird, arbitrary thresholds that, once crossed, can never be uncrossed. And so many things can be that line in the sand: holding another guy’s hand, letting a guy know you love them, a simple compliment.
Women get a lot more leeway for how much they can explore and experiment. Every single girl in my friend group has made out with another girl at party, several had gone down on another girl, and people didn’t bat an eye when they said they’re straight but were just having fun or experimenting. Granted, many of not most ended up being bi or pan, but the point is they had the freedom to experiment without immediately being put in a box.
I wonder how much homophobia, transphobia, and overall LGBTQ+ hate could be avoided if we just let men explore themselves without treating such behavior as a one way road. I get that this is a patriarchal problem perpetuated largely by men and the societal system they’ve constructed over the ages, but still.
Sorry for ranting about this on 196, but damn. If I felt less guilt and judgement for doing so, I would’ve experimented a lot more in my youth and figured a lot of shit out much earlier.
Pic somewhat related I remember when I, a Cisgender Man™, would proudly tell my friends that one year I was going to do a Madoka cosplay for comic con, because I am, and I do quote, “secure in my masculinity”. “I won’t wear a wig, I’ll actually grow my hair and dye it bright pink and gel it to fit the cosplay,” I proclaimed with all the testosterone I could. “It’ll be funny because Madoka is a small girl and I am a large man,” I said, with not so much as a drop of irony or knowing in my words.
So as a joke…
This except I’m both a woman and attracted to women
This is such a frustrating property of toxic masculinity (I know this is a copypasta but that’s a sentiment that’s expressed by A LOT of men). The idea that gender and sexuality are these weird, arbitrary thresholds that, once crossed, can never be uncrossed. And so many things can be that line in the sand: holding another guy’s hand, letting a guy know you love them, a simple compliment.
Women get a lot more leeway for how much they can explore and experiment. Every single girl in my friend group has made out with another girl at party, several had gone down on another girl, and people didn’t bat an eye when they said they’re straight but were just having fun or experimenting. Granted, many of not most ended up being bi or pan, but the point is they had the freedom to experiment without immediately being put in a box.
I wonder how much homophobia, transphobia, and overall LGBTQ+ hate could be avoided if we just let men explore themselves without treating such behavior as a one way road. I get that this is a patriarchal problem perpetuated largely by men and the societal system they’ve constructed over the ages, but still.
Sorry for ranting about this on 196, but damn. If I felt less guilt and judgement for doing so, I would’ve experimented a lot more in my youth and figured a lot of shit out much earlier.
I love the implication of being able to hop back and forth.
“Feeling gay, might be straight later.”