but have you considered that putting up with abuse only enables more abuse? The fear of being labeled a “selfish bitch” locks people into toxic cycles that can only be broken by standing up for oneself. It also perpetuates a culture where people are expected to not speak out and to sacrifice everything to not rock the boat, even when the consequences are dire. It is good to be prosocial by default, but passivity only enables harm.
This may be a slight reframing of the terms here, but I don’t think that standing up for yourself is selfish, really. I see the connection, obviously, but…
Like, in the same way that refusing anti-democratic parties from being allowed to participate in democracy (read: to destroy it) can be a pro-democracy position, I think that standing up to abuse, either of yourself or of other people, is a pro-social action. A system that allows people to rock the boat “selfishly” for just causes is actually a more pro-social one.
So, what I mean to say is, yes, people should not fear being labeled a “selfish bitch.” In fact, they should do it more often, but for community-focused reasons. And, a person beating back their cunt father for some new thing that he’s done is definitely a community-focused reason; he must be made to stop poisoning the well-water of his neighborhood.
[edit] None of this is a response to the meme, btw. I think the meme agrees with me.
No, you’re totally right. My whole point is that neither people pleasing nor being selfish and inconsiderate are good things. Like many jokes here about being unhinged and evil, it isn’t actually celebrating being bad person, but pushing back against the societal pressure to people please and be normal.
There is an endless chasm between “selfish bitch” and “spineless worm”. You can be selfless and prosocial without being a pushover. Attitudes like that in OP’s meme usually lead to people justifying shitty behavior. In a lot of ways its saying “I’d rather be the abuser than be abused”, and then you’re even worse than the people pleaser.
It’s a false dichotomy anyway. Some people experiment abuse and get cornered in a place they can’t get out of. Some have a bit more freedom of movement and can choose what to do with it.
Some just keep to themselves and don’t interact with others. Some aim to be kind and prosocial, and defend themselves while making sure the same abuse doesn’t happen to others.
And then some only know the figure of the abuser and the abused, and their only complain about their worldview being a pyramid is that they’re not at the top.
You can stop putting up with abuse without being selfish. Egoism is not the only alternative to passivity.
It’s objectively better to be selfless and prosocial than selfish and inconsiderate, but the latter is comfier.
but have you considered that putting up with abuse only enables more abuse? The fear of being labeled a “selfish bitch” locks people into toxic cycles that can only be broken by standing up for oneself. It also perpetuates a culture where people are expected to not speak out and to sacrifice everything to not rock the boat, even when the consequences are dire. It is good to be prosocial by default, but passivity only enables harm.
This may be a slight reframing of the terms here, but I don’t think that standing up for yourself is selfish, really. I see the connection, obviously, but…
Like, in the same way that refusing anti-democratic parties from being allowed to participate in democracy (read: to destroy it) can be a pro-democracy position, I think that standing up to abuse, either of yourself or of other people, is a pro-social action. A system that allows people to rock the boat “selfishly” for just causes is actually a more pro-social one.
So, what I mean to say is, yes, people should not fear being labeled a “selfish bitch.” In fact, they should do it more often, but for community-focused reasons. And, a person beating back their cunt father for some new thing that he’s done is definitely a community-focused reason; he must be made to stop poisoning the well-water of his neighborhood.
[edit] None of this is a response to the meme, btw. I think the meme agrees with me.
No, you’re totally right. My whole point is that neither people pleasing nor being selfish and inconsiderate are good things. Like many jokes here about being unhinged and evil, it isn’t actually celebrating being bad person, but pushing back against the societal pressure to people please and be normal.
There is an endless chasm between “selfish bitch” and “spineless worm”. You can be selfless and prosocial without being a pushover. Attitudes like that in OP’s meme usually lead to people justifying shitty behavior. In a lot of ways its saying “I’d rather be the abuser than be abused”, and then you’re even worse than the people pleaser.
It’s a false dichotomy anyway. Some people experiment abuse and get cornered in a place they can’t get out of. Some have a bit more freedom of movement and can choose what to do with it.
Some just keep to themselves and don’t interact with others. Some aim to be kind and prosocial, and defend themselves while making sure the same abuse doesn’t happen to others.
And then some only know the figure of the abuser and the abused, and their only complain about their worldview being a pyramid is that they’re not at the top.
You can stop putting up with abuse without being selfish. Egoism is not the only alternative to passivity.
You’re totally right. In the end, it’s a matter of discernment, self-knowledge and seeking balance.