It’s a false dichotomy anyway. Some people experiment abuse and get cornered in a place they can’t get out of. Some have a bit more freedom of movement and can choose what to do with it.

Some just keep to themselves and don’t interact with others. Some aim to be kind and prosocial, and defend themselves while making sure the same abuse doesn’t happen to others.

And then some only know the figure of the abuser and the abused, and their only complain about their worldview being a pyramid is that they’re not at the top.

You can stop putting up with abuse without being selfish. Egoism is not the only alternative to passivity.