A situationship is what happens when one or both members (or I guess theoretically more than that) of a relationship completely fail at setting, defining, and maintaining boundaries and/or expectations of that relationship.
It is a result of a failure to commincate the most basic parts of a relationship, usually by just assuming the other person can read your mind and knows what you want, what is and isn’t ok/allowed.
It can also often happen because one or more members just has no idea what they actually want out of said relationship, or, that ‘idea’ changes dramatically, often.
Its a slang term, used mainly by Zoomers and younger, and nobody actually seems to be able to consistently, precisely, define it.
As best I understand, its a relationship that is best defined by at least one person in it being fundamentally confused by what the ‘relationship’ even is.
Further attempt to explain why I define it this way
Back in the last millenium or thereabouts… we’d just call a ‘situationship’ something like “they’re not a good fit for each other” or “x thought it was / wanted it to be serious, y didn’t, thought it was totally casual” or “x (and y) doesn’t seem to know what they want from y (or eachother)”.
We didn’t really have a specific word for it.
Like, I’ve dated girls who slept with me on the first date, just started referring to us as boyfriend/girlfriend by date 2.
I’ve also dated girls where we did not have sex untill months in, and they literally requested that I … basically formally propose to them that we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we weren’t dating anyone else, and it had been like 3 months… it was very important to her that I essentially formally propose our ‘we are officially dating’ status.
Different people all literally play by different rules.
And you have to 1] actually know what they are for yourself and 2] tell the other person what they are.
… It is totally normal to not know what you want out of a relationship, to not know what kind of person you want to be in a … more than friendship relationship with.
Its also pretty normal to feel socially pressured to just even have or not have … any, or some specific kind of a relationship.
You kinda just have to learn by trial and error, learn both who yourself is as a person, and what other kind of person you are looking for.
Thats… basically what maturing, growing, as yourself, into yourself, as a player in the game of society… is.
A situationship is what happens when one or both members (or I guess theoretically more than that) of a relationship completely fail at setting, defining, and maintaining boundaries and/or expectations of that relationship.
It is a result of a failure to commincate the most basic parts of a relationship, usually by just assuming the other person can read your mind and knows what you want, what is and isn’t ok/allowed.
It can also often happen because one or more members just has no idea what they actually want out of said relationship, or, that ‘idea’ changes dramatically, often.
wait, that’s what that’s it!!! thought it was more complicated.
Just sit down and codify your relationship expectations and boundaries.
Bring a printout of a relationship smorgasbord
I mean, I am just asserting this definition here.
I’m not the King of the Dictionary.
(Although, apparently, Lords Merriam and Webster do seem to agree with me. I did not actually know this existed in ‘the dictionary’ prior to writing that.)
Its a slang term, used mainly by Zoomers and younger, and nobody actually seems to be able to consistently, precisely, define it.
As best I understand, its a relationship that is best defined by at least one person in it being fundamentally confused by what the ‘relationship’ even is.
Further attempt to explain why I define it this way
Back in the last millenium or thereabouts… we’d just call a ‘situationship’ something like “they’re not a good fit for each other” or “x thought it was / wanted it to be serious, y didn’t, thought it was totally casual” or “x (and y) doesn’t seem to know what they want from y (or eachother)”.
We didn’t really have a specific word for it.
Like, I’ve dated girls who slept with me on the first date, just started referring to us as boyfriend/girlfriend by date 2.
I’ve also dated girls where we did not have sex untill months in, and they literally requested that I … basically formally propose to them that we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we weren’t dating anyone else, and it had been like 3 months… it was very important to her that I essentially formally propose our ‘we are officially dating’ status.
Different people all literally play by different rules.
And you have to 1] actually know what they are for yourself and 2] tell the other person what they are.
… It is totally normal to not know what you want out of a relationship, to not know what kind of person you want to be in a … more than friendship relationship with.
Its also pretty normal to feel socially pressured to just even have or not have … any, or some specific kind of a relationship.
You kinda just have to learn by trial and error, learn both who yourself is as a person, and what other kind of person you are looking for.
Thats… basically what maturing, growing, as yourself, into yourself, as a player in the game of society… is.