• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    13 hours ago

    I mean, I am just asserting this definition here.

    I’m not the King of the Dictionary.

    (Although, apparently, Lords Merriam and Webster do seem to agree with me. I did not actually know this existed in ‘the dictionary’ prior to writing that.)

    Its a slang term, used mainly by Zoomers and younger, and nobody actually seems to be able to consistently, precisely, define it.

    As best I understand, its a relationship that is best defined by at least one person in it being fundamentally confused by what the ‘relationship’ even is.

    Further attempt to explain why I define it this way

    Back in the last millenium or thereabouts… we’d just call a ‘situationship’ something like “they’re not a good fit for each other” or “x thought it was / wanted it to be serious, y didn’t, thought it was totally casual” or “x (and y) doesn’t seem to know what they want from y (or eachother)”.

    We didn’t really have a specific word for it.

    Like, I’ve dated girls who slept with me on the first date, just started referring to us as boyfriend/girlfriend by date 2.

    I’ve also dated girls where we did not have sex untill months in, and they literally requested that I … basically formally propose to them that we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we weren’t dating anyone else, and it had been like 3 months… it was very important to her that I essentially formally propose our ‘we are officially dating’ status.

    Different people all literally play by different rules.

    And you have to 1] actually know what they are for yourself and 2] tell the other person what they are.

    … It is totally normal to not know what you want out of a relationship, to not know what kind of person you want to be in a … more than friendship relationship with.

    Its also pretty normal to feel socially pressured to just even have or not have … any, or some specific kind of a relationship.

    You kinda just have to learn by trial and error, learn both who yourself is as a person, and what other kind of person you are looking for.

    Thats… basically what maturing, growing, as yourself, into yourself, as a player in the game of society… is.