Lonely is exactly the shit I’m saying is fixable. Depressed, well, a large part of depression is about preventing you from putting forth effort. So like, yeah, it can fuck that up. But you gotta be optimistic. Like if my anxiety ridden ass can do it most people should be able to
But dude right tho. When you depressed it’s natural that you can’t put any effort, hence you can’t make friends. When I’m depressed I don’t even talk to anyone, kinda impossible to make friends that way, you know?
What kind of things do you like to do? Join a club, or team. Or whats something you think you might like to do? Take group lessons, or join a club and admit you know nothing and want to learn. People love sharing their hobbies. Mahjong, tennis, book club, home brewing, hiking, knitting, bird watching, ball room dancing… anything. Hang out in the organized setting multiple times, then if something clicks, hang out outside of the group. "Hey we should play mahjong at my place. Know another 2 people who we could play with? " “that was a great hike. Im hungry. Anyone want to get lunch?”
Even this is unrealistic in the current world. Everyone spends time online, and at least in my region, the only offline clubs or groups i could find are for kids, not adults.
You say that, but my wife and i have done most of the things i listed above and made friends this year. We joined a gym that had tennis group lessons and now we meet just with people to work out, i joined a soccer team and now have been meeting up with folks for watching world cup games. My wife joined a mahjong class and now has regular games together with her class mates even though theyre not in class any more. She joined a book club that gets together once a month. My brother decided he wanted to get in shape so joined a triathlon club and completely changed his way of life and now travels the world with his new friends.
Either youre being disingenuous or you havent actually tried these things
Basically anyone can make friends if they put in the effort. It’s one of my firm beliefs
amazing, i’m glad that’s your belief… sounds like you’ve never been depressed or lonely
Lonely is exactly the shit I’m saying is fixable. Depressed, well, a large part of depression is about preventing you from putting forth effort. So like, yeah, it can fuck that up. But you gotta be optimistic. Like if my anxiety ridden ass can do it most people should be able to
But dude right tho. When you depressed it’s natural that you can’t put any effort, hence you can’t make friends. When I’m depressed I don’t even talk to anyone, kinda impossible to make friends that way, you know?
alright but like, what if i’m not depressed? then what? how to make friends, how to meet new people?
What kind of things do you like to do? Join a club, or team. Or whats something you think you might like to do? Take group lessons, or join a club and admit you know nothing and want to learn. People love sharing their hobbies. Mahjong, tennis, book club, home brewing, hiking, knitting, bird watching, ball room dancing… anything. Hang out in the organized setting multiple times, then if something clicks, hang out outside of the group. "Hey we should play mahjong at my place. Know another 2 people who we could play with? " “that was a great hike. Im hungry. Anyone want to get lunch?”
Take initiative, but dont force it.
Even this is unrealistic in the current world. Everyone spends time online, and at least in my region, the only offline clubs or groups i could find are for kids, not adults.
Then make one yourself. Organize, post it around online, and more likely than not a few people will show up
You say that, but my wife and i have done most of the things i listed above and made friends this year. We joined a gym that had tennis group lessons and now we meet just with people to work out, i joined a soccer team and now have been meeting up with folks for watching world cup games. My wife joined a mahjong class and now has regular games together with her class mates even though theyre not in class any more. She joined a book club that gets together once a month. My brother decided he wanted to get in shape so joined a triathlon club and completely changed his way of life and now travels the world with his new friends.
Either youre being disingenuous or you havent actually tried these things
For reference, we’re almost 40.
If I knew you wouldn’t see me on this site.