Think performative sexualization, doing things you don’t necessarily like because you want to feel desired/desireable.

Analog nowhere is incredible

analognowhere.com

Hmmm, I really want to die

I wish I could sleep and never wake up

Sorry, didn’t mean to speak for you, it’s just a trend I notice a lot especially with genderqueer stuff.

“I enjoy this generally feminine thing as a guy”

And then a billion people come out of the woodwork saying things like “egg spotted” “who’s gonna tell em?” “Are you sure you’re male?” And that is absolutely toxic and harmful. So, I try to call out that sort of thing when I see it. Either they know who they are and are comfortable with themselves, in which case those kinds of comments can get real old real fast, or they’re not and those comments push them further away from exploring their identity. For trans people it’s called the egg prime directive, based off of the star trek principle of non-interference with developing planets.

*sniff sniff sniff*

gently munches them off of your hand, careful not to bite you

PrrrrrRRRrrrrrrrRRRrrrrrrrrrr

Everyone’s making some implications about you based off of that “mostly” which really isn’t cool. That “mostly” tells me you know yourself better than a lot of people

Mrrrrp?

Nahhhh I’m a disgusting ugly unloveable piece of shit. Nothing to do with being trans tho

God I wish. I just want to come over and sit on the floor next to you and plunk my head into your lap so you can pet me

Wooooooow im such a piece of shit

Nah, as long as you appreciate the lonely+horny+sad vibe

I got a strap-on harness with the expectation of having someone use it on me and what a fuckin waste of money that was, definitely not gonna happen. The one use it’s gotten was me face fucking a trans guy with a toy while another guy spanked him at the start of june

It’s pretty sad the only way I can really imagine receiving affection is by imagining I’m someone’s pet

For me that descends into suicidal ideation. I’m just so tired, I don’t want to nonstop fill the stimulation void on me any more, I can’t stand the thought of jumping from novel interest to novel interest always trying to stay one step ahead of the expanding void in me, I’m tired of putting so much effort into a life I don’t want to live

I had a… fwb? visit me this weekend and we sat on the couch and I laid my head in his lap and he stroked my hair and I felt cared for and loved and I wished it never happened because going back to loneliness and self hatred is so much worse than just being lonely and miserable the whole time

How many pounds worth of weighted blankets will it take before I can’t breathe under them

Mooooood. One of the few hook ups I’ve had, afterwards, he held me close, little spoon, and ran his finger delicately around my side and abs and told me that was the sexiest part of me and told me I was amazing and it was hard to not burst into tears. I’d never felt attractive before. I’d never felt truly wanted like that before. I don’t think I will again. It’s harder now, when you’ve been starved for affection and touch for so long having a brief glimpse of it is almost worse than never having had it at all. It’ll take a long time to numb back down I think.

God I wish somebody would but that’s not how it works, and making myself someone’s responsibility would be placing a horrible burden on them. Gotta fix myself first but I’m a run down junker falling apart faster than I can make repairs with duct tape and hot glue. Ah well. Limping further down the road than I ever thought I would, at least.

Legitimately petplay/being a catperson seems like so much fun but it makes me uncomfy when I try it

Kinda sad, I’m a massive sub but in petplay situations I’m way more comfortable being the owner than the pet

Also I’m mostly presenting as male still and trying to figure out what I want to do about it/who I want to be